Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

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MrPiper
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by MrPiper »

Petey has long passed the Rainbow Bridge (and I would assume is crapping the yard around my mansion in Heaven) We are now two full years into the next Boston Terrier named Daisy Donuts. Again, I had no input into the naming of this bane nor the acquisition thereof.

In only 2 years, she has successfully chewed the edge off of the stairs at the entrance to our foyer, removed the windowsill in the Dining Room, chewed a hole in the leather couch, and so much more! What a joy she is. While she only cost about $800 initially, she has generously rang up about 2 to 3 thousand dollars worth of damage so far. She is on track to catch Petey by her 3rd birthday.

As many of you know, this past week, we had tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage to our home from a burst pipe. I also had surgery. The house is destroyed. We have a $2500 deductible, and since the home is 27 years old, we will have to replace 2/3rds of the cabinets at our own expense because there are no cabinets that can be made to match the ones we currently have. We expect to be out of pocket about 10K personally for the repairs ourselves.

Wednesday night, DD started acting lethargic. She was clearly in distress, but of course, not until 6:31pm. One minute after the office of Dr. Cashsucker had closed. The only alternative was to use the Emergency Theft (vet) about 20 minutes away. Daisy was truly sick. I didn't even complain about taking her. She was crying and couldn't walk up the stairs. This is significant for a dog that has no trouble jumping from the floor to the back of the sofa to tear the blinds out of the window in order to more appropriately threaten a squirrel on our deck.

When we arrived there was a sign that said, "call this number upon arrival". so we did.

The perpetrator: "Hello this is the Emergency Theft. How can we rob you today?"
Me: "We have a dog in great distress, apparently GI. We are afraid she has eaten something blocking her tract or has been poisoned"
Crook: "We will be right out with the paperwork. Please have your credit card ready."

The Toady came out wearing black, and a mask as would be appropriate for the one about to rob you. She had a clipboard, and she knew how to use it.

Crook, "Please fill all of this out including your SSN and DL #'s so we can take you to court if you don't pay our confiscatory fees. Include all of your credit card information. We will go back in and charge the $175.00 base fee to your card and then we will come get you dog if she isn't already dead from waiting so long. By the way, you can wait in the car. We don't allow victims into our office.

Me: "Thank you. Please help the poor girl."
Mrs. Piper: "Yes, and we don't care how much it costs!"
Me: begins to cry

The Toady escorted Daisy into the office while Mrs. Piper and I sat freezing in the car for the next 2 hours.

After a while the phone rang.

"Hello Mr. Piper? This is Dr. Larsen. We have done an X ray, CBC and Metabolic panel. Your current charges are $1249.00. All tests are in the normal range and she doesn't appear to have a blockage. Her stomach is distended and appears to be very full of food. I recommend we give her some inexpensive generic stomach medicines for her to take for the next week. These two prescription will be $178.00 and added to your charge card ok?"

Mrs.Piper: "Thank you so much for taking care of Daisy Donuts! What would we ever do without you?"

The Toady returned DD to the car which by now had icicles hanging from the ceiling and frost on the windshield. We drove home.

I AM NOT JOKING!!! Right as we walked in the door, Daisy Donuts FARTED a blast that would have rocked the Titanic! Been fine ever since.

It's just adding insult to injury. I mean, once your broke, "broker" is only relative. I will be in my man cave crying and reading Indeed.com looking for side jobs. No Christmas this year.
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by Hugo Drax »

Yeah. My dog cost me over 8k a year ago for a bowel blockage on a Sunday. Hard to believe I turned down veterinary school because of the low wages involved in the mid 1990s. We've lost our minds.

Glad she's ok, my friend
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by Yohanan »

Glad your Daisy is ok, hopefully next time, she will unload a Butt Blast before you have to take her to Dr. Robber Baron.
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by jmg »

I got my current dog for free from a guy in the Walmart parking lot. Upon asking him, "What kind of dog is this?" He responded, "Look...I'm not going to bullsh*t you. I don't have any idea. My neighbor got hauled off to prison and I didn't have the heart to just let his dog sit over there and starve to death, so I took her in. Turns out, the mutt was pregnant........Please take one of these dogs!"

So far, I spent about 30 bucks on a couple rounds of shots from tractor supply. I'll have to pay a vet soon enough for the rabies shot, because the government, for whatever reason, got involved and they will no longer sell the rabies shot to individuals. And I'll guess I'll have to pay 50 bucks at the local conveyor belt neuter place. Hopefully that's all this dog will cost, other than some food. Though I usually just feed my dogs table scraps and they have always been really healthy. I genuinely feel bad for your dog induced financial woes. If my dog ever decided to dig into my pocket like that, it'd be a gone dog really fast. For now though, me and the mystery mutt, Houdini, sit here on the bed eating popcorn together.

In other news, when I was about 12 years old, I had my first "gas bubble" and thought I was dying. I eventually farted so hard that I sincerely worried that my butthole got torn apart.
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by Yohanan »

("In other news, when I was about 12 years old, I had my first "gas bubble" and thought I was dying. I eventually farted so hard that I sincerely worried that my butthole got torn apart.")

That's the Best Kind.
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by Del »

That's an expensive story. But that post was totally worth it.
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by Hugo Drax »

jmg wrote: 25 Nov 2022, 19:04 I got my current dog for free from a guy in the Walmart parking lot. Upon asking him, "What kind of dog is this?" He responded, "Look...I'm not going to bullsh*t you. I don't have any idea. My neighbor got hauled off to prison and I didn't have the heart to just let his dog sit over there and starve to death, so I took her in. Turns out, the mutt was pregnant........Please take one of these dogs!"

So far, I spent about 30 bucks on a couple rounds of shots from tractor supply. I'll have to pay a vet soon enough for the rabies shot, because the government, for whatever reason, got involved and they will no longer sell the rabies shot to individuals. And I'll guess I'll have to pay 50 bucks at the local conveyor belt neuter place. Hopefully that's all this dog will cost, other than some food. Though I usually just feed my dogs table scraps and they have always been really healthy. I genuinely feel bad for your dog induced financial woes. If my dog ever decided to dig into my pocket like that, it'd be a gone dog really fast. For now though, me and the mystery mutt, Houdini, sit here on the bed eating popcorn together.

In other news, when I was about 12 years old, I had my first "gas bubble" and thought I was dying. I eventually farted so hard that I sincerely worried that my butthole got torn apart.
You're right, JM. How I've always thought about dogs, too. Perhaps if you were married with three little girls youd understand the predicament. :lol:
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Daisy Donuts' vet just stole Christmas!

Post by Jocose »

Image

The face MrPiper makes when Dr. Cashsucker asks if the charges are ok and if they should continue treatment..
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