The passing of Petey

[MrPiper]

Many here remember my nemises, "Petey" the Boston Terror. During the midst of COVID, the poor fellow finally succumbed to the wiles of time at the age of 15. He was vital, and played with reckless abandon until 1 day before he died. We never even knew he was sick. He just woke up, staggered to the living room and fell over.

Of course, Petey couldn't pass peacefully at home of natural causes inexpensively. He had to take one last jab at me. Mrs.Piper grabbed him up and hauled him for one last trip to Dr. Cashsucker's office. Have I mentioned my belief that veterinarians are highly trained mafia criminals? Upon arrival, Dr. C requested we just do one simple CBC blood test just in case there was something easy to treat before we take the difficult step of helping Petey on his way. Mrs. Piper agreed, as did I.

I have been working in medicine for 35 years. I know that a full CBC with differential paid by cash at a lab is about $45 to $55. Petey was worth that.
Dr. C came back in and told us that while the liver enzymes were in the 1,000's (off the chart) it could possibly even still be something simple like a stone or blockage that could be surgically removed (for 5 to 7 thousand dollars on a 15 year old dog!!!???) but first we would need just a quick little $600 CT scan. We decided we would not put him through that. We need to eat and make house payments and such, so we proceeded to say our goodbyes to our old friend.

Upon checkout, we discovered that the ending of Petey's suffering was a reasonable $55.00. The CBC, however, was $445.00 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My head exploded. I offered to put $1000 on the counter and bare fist fight Dr. Cashsucker for it. Winner take all. He agreed. I am a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and also trained in Hap Ki Do. I could do this. He agreed and took off his lab coat. He swung a right hook that I blocked. I returned with a palm strike to his nose, jumping round kick to his left flank and he was down. I turned to pick up my money only to hear the ring of the cash register as the tech pushed the drawer closed and locked it. "Here is your reciept Mr. Piper, and your change of $555. Would you like to have us create a paw print from Petey made into a keepsake for your wife? It's $55?

The paw print of Petey is on the bedside table and Mrs. Piper kisses it every night before bed.

I vowed their would NEVER be another dog in my house. We now have "Daisy Donuts" who just turned 2. There are already stories yet to tell.

[Jocose]

RIP

[DLJake]

Oh, man.

CPS has lost a great member.

[JimVH]

Petey was a badass. It’s a huge responsibility carrying an entire family for so long.

A true character.