Is casual sex sinful?

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Is casual sex sinful?

Post by Del »

WARNING: MAJOR DELSPAINING AHEAD!
Troubadour wrote: 18 Jul 2022, 03:20 In the 21st century, would you say that casual sex is sinful? Please elaborate.
Our first problem is that we don't define our terms. We throw around vague words like "sin" and "faith" and "salvation," and rarely do we clearly define what we mean.

There is a moral system that guides one in discerning right from wrong. It works everywhere in the world that is informed by the Judea-Christian tradition (which includes Islamic cultures), so pretty much most of the world. You don't need a Bible or Koran to figure it out (Aristotle did not have these).

You don't even have to be a believer.... just respect that religion exists to support the natural human code of right behavior. One can discard faith in God, but no one can discard the natural moral code.

All I can do is give it a snapshot here..... still tl;dr. Q. & A. format:

Q. Why do we exist?
A. God made us. We are made for God. Our ultimate happiness can only be found in having a mutual loving relationship with God. Loving like that of a parent and child.

"Having a right relationship with God" is what most Christians means when we speak of "salvation."

Q. What is sin?
A. Sin is anything that separates us from God and His love. Sin is always some sort of selfish behavior, choosing my own will and pleasure instead of the moral good. This leads to unhappiness.

Q. Why do we sin?
A. As a whole, humanity has lost our relationship with God. We no longer see Him clearly. And so we are easily tempted to seek shortcuts to happiness, resulting in foolish and harmful choices.

Q. How should we treat our fellow human beings?
A. We should desire their happiness as much as we desire our own happiness. Often, this means that I must sacrifice my own comfort and pleasure to make sure that another person's needs are secured. Again, as a parent cares for a child and as a child obeys his parents.

A peaceful and thriving society is built on this cooperation.... especially in our personal relationships.

- As a society, we tax ourselves to establish governments, courts, police and armies. This secures our safety from criminals and invaders. This secures justice for the weak who would be oppressed by the strong.

- In personal relationships, we must not use others for our own pleasure or gain.

- In all things, we must not tempt others into sin. We do all things to help others achieve happiness -- seeing that their physical needs are met, opening the way for them to grow closer to God, placing no obstacles in their paths.
==========================================================

So let's apply this thinking to "casual sex," and why human society insists that such activity is immoral:

Q. What is sex for?
A. Sex has two purposes:
- The primary purpose of sex is to bring forth children.
- The secondary purpose (because it is in service to the first) is to bond the father and mother intimately so that they may work together as one to raise their children.
- To serve these purposes, sex is designed by God and nature to be pleasurable.

Q. Why is casual sex immoral?
A. This abuses and frustrates the purposes of sex. There is no desire for children, and no desire for bonding.

ABUSING SEX FOR PLEASURE IS LIKE ABUSING DRUGS FOR PLEASURE. BOTH LEAD US AWAY FROM THE REAL HAPPINESS THAT WE SEEK. And both almost always leave a wake of devastation and pain for other people around us.

The core problem is that this is abusing another person for one's own pleasure. This is degrading to the other person.
And you are allowing another person to abuse you. This is degrading to yourself.
Often some material value is traded as well (money, dinner, drugs, a place to stay), further underscoring the transactional nature of the relationship.
The degradation is masked by the momentary pleasure and transactional gain, but it is ultimately harmful to both persons -- and to everyone else who has to live in a promiscuous society. It leads to divorce, children conceived without loving parents, and overall loss of self-worth.
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Is casual sex sinful?

Post by joegoat »

Troubadour wrote: 19 Jul 2022, 19:02
joegoat wrote: 18 Jul 2022, 07:42 Even if you can somehow manage to find Scripture that makes it sound like a wholesome act, it's just not a good idea. Yeah, it might be fun at the time, but I know my wife and I would feel regret if we knew we had messed around with other people. Sex is such a wonderful thing. Why make it so meaningless?
Society is working to remove every inkling of morality. That doesn't mean that we as Christians should relax our personal convictions.
Is your belief that people can't experience or share real love from casual sex?
True love between one man and one woman is not casual at all. It is intentional and meaningful. True love is giving. A one night stand is about receiving.
Casual sex by definition, is simply to satisfy a carnal urge. There is no commitment, there is no substance, there is only a quick release of dopamine and then both people are on their separate ways to the next hook-up.
My belief is that casual sex might feel great, but it has nothing to do with true love. It's selfish and temporary.
My wife and I have a great marriage and we've decided that one very big reason is that we didn't have any partners before each other.
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Post by sweetandsour »

joegoat wrote: 19 Jul 2022, 20:56
Troubadour wrote: 19 Jul 2022, 19:02
joegoat wrote: 18 Jul 2022, 07:42 Even if you can somehow manage to find Scripture that makes it sound like a wholesome act, it's just not a good idea. Yeah, it might be fun at the time, but I know my wife and I would feel regret if we knew we had messed around with other people. Sex is such a wonderful thing. Why make it so meaningless?
Society is working to remove every inkling of morality. That doesn't mean that we as Christians should relax our personal convictions.
Is your belief that people can't experience or share real love from casual sex?
True love between one man and one woman is not casual at all. It is intentional and meaningful. True love is giving. A one night stand is about receiving.
Casual sex by definition, is simply to satisfy a carnal urge. There is no commitment, there is no substance, there is only a quick release of dopamine and then both people are on their separate ways to the next hook-up.
My belief is that casual sex might feel great, but it has nothing to do with true love. It's selfish and temporary.
My wife and I have a great marriage and we've decided that one very big reason is that we didn't have any partners before each other.
True love? You're getting into mutton, lettuce and tomato territory now, I think. An MLT, with the mutton nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe.
Last edited by sweetandsour on 20 Jul 2022, 05:47, edited 1 time in total.
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Is casual sex sinful?

Post by tuttle »

Troubadour wrote: 19 Jul 2022, 19:01
Biff wrote: 18 Jul 2022, 07:53 Yes. No.
And like Tuttle said "What's the 21st century got to do with it?"

Are you trolling?
Again, from a purely historical perspective - the factors of today don't entirely coincide with those of times past:

1. In ancient societies, relations between man and wife were strictly regulated for the purpose of population planning and inheritance (in societies where wealth and power was primarily passed down via birthright, this was highly significant to maintaining a functioning societies).

So one could still view it to be a sin for various reasons (including ones unrelated to the above claim), but practically speaking these factors are much more mitigated in contemporary societies.
What do the factors of today have anything to do with it?
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Post by Del »

tuttle wrote: 20 Jul 2022, 05:34
Troubadour wrote: 19 Jul 2022, 19:01
Biff wrote: 18 Jul 2022, 07:53 Yes. No.
And like Tuttle said "What's the 21st century got to do with it?"

Are you trolling?
Again, from a purely historical perspective - the factors of today don't entirely coincide with those of times past:

1. In ancient societies, relations between man and wife were strictly regulated for the purpose of population planning and inheritance (in societies where wealth and power was primarily passed down via birthright, this was highly significant to maintaining a functioning societies).

So one could still view it to be a sin for various reasons (including ones unrelated to the above claim), but practically speaking these factors are much more mitigated in contemporary societies.
What do the factors of today have anything to do with it?
Respectfully, the ethic of moral relativism believes that rules for moral and immoral behaviors change depending on time, culture, and personal circumstances. It does not accept the principle that human nature is the same for every person in every century and every culture.

A moral relativist in a hyper-individualistic culture is tempted to say, "I can do anything that I want. As long as I'm not trying to hurt anybody, I'm a good person."

So modern evangelists can't simply assert human nature. We have to teach it.
===========================

I'm not sure what Troubador actually believes about pre-industrial societies. A focus on "inheriting property" mostly concerns the rich and ruling classes, who are never paragons of moral human behavior in any culture. Focusing on the Roman mob (appeased by bread and circus, served by a slave class funded by the taxes of an empire) ignores the vast peasant classes across the empire who enjoyed normal lives and families -- much as we did before the Sexual Revolution.

After the Fall of the Roman Empire, a vast peasant society thrived and advanced under the moral code of their deeply religious culture. Tolerably content families of farmers, butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers.

The foundation of this cultural advancement was a class of monks and nuns who willingly gave up the pursuits of sex and pleasure and family cares, devoting themselves to the works of charity and learning. They invented hospitals, universities, hospitality (sheltering travelers and pilgrims). They established a culture of education and village schools.

Medieval Christians didn't focus on "How do I max out my gratification?" They focused on "How can I help others?"
It wasn't a question of "How do I bed this girl?" It was "How do we prepare for a happy marraige and family?"

As a result, they were much happier than us. Even though we are wealthy beyond their wildest imaginations. They had no need to invent antidepressants.
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Post by Hugo Drax »

You know who I miss? Skip, that's who.
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Hugo Drax wrote: 25 Jul 2022, 05:42 You know who I miss? Skip, that's who.
Absolutely. He had a way of suffering with fools.
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Post by tuttle »

So did it work? Do you get to bang chicks guilt free now?
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Post by sweetandsour »

tuttle wrote: 25 Jul 2022, 05:58 So did it work? Do you get to bang <whatever> guilt free now?
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Post by Hugo Drax »

Del wrote: 25 Jul 2022, 05:57
Hugo Drax wrote: 25 Jul 2022, 05:42 You know who I miss? Skip, that's who.
Absolutely. He had a way of suffering with fools.
Well, yes, but he was also often the typist. This is a really good sock considering we have zero internet footprint.
Weenies are us.
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