Christian Pipe Smokers

Fellas...I would appreciate your prayers in regards to my level of stress and anxiety I've been feeling. We've been home from PNG for almost 2 1/2 years now. Most days it feels like it was yesterday. I'm so ready for this transitional feeling to be done. My chest hurts from stress. When it does, all I can think about is my good friend that dropped dead right in front of me on the mission base of a massive heart attack he had during a soccer game we played against the high school kids...all I can think in those times is, "Is it happening to me now?". I should be thankful. I have a job. Though it doesn't pay much, it pays enough to keep our bills paid. Barely...but enough. We stay on a strict budget. I take side jobs about as often as I can get them and also try to save some time to be with my wife and kids.

I just feel so lost here. I spent all of my adult life preparing for mission work, doing missions...........and now I'm here.

Recently I was asked by a lady that was with us as we made our chaotic journey home from PNG if I would be willing to be interviewed for a book she is writing about missionaries returning home unexpectedly. I agreed. I didn't imagine that I would, but I cried like a baby answering her questions. To make it worse, she's recently asked that myself, and the other missionaries interviewed, to record themselves reading their portions of the book for the audible version. I listened to her recording tonight and have just lost it.

Guys, I know God is good. I know He loves me and my family. But, in honesty, I feel so, so lost. Not lost in terms of salvation, but in the way that I just have no idea what I'm doing right now. This past week, I was presented with another employment opportunity. I'm under no obligation to agree to anything. But a guy is driving over from Birmingham to discuss it with me. And even though I have no obligations, my chest feels like a truck is parked on top of it. I hate feeling this way.

I'm sorry to vent. Please pray that I will experience God's "peace that passes understanding."

Praying accordingly, friend.

Praying right now brother, for your strength, and for some peace.

I'm praying for you and with you.

In times like these, and always really, the only peace I get comes from complete surrender to His will and the understanding that I am in it.

I have been blessed many times by God's promise in James when I don't know direction. "Who among you lacks wisdom? Let him ask of God who gives openly and holds nothing back"

I hope you may also find comfort in the proverb... "trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.

While these verses, and many others, have never solved my problems, they have given me peace while God is working me through them. I pray they may do the same for you.

prayed

Prayed.

Sending pm.

Praying now.

I call upon thee, O Lord; make haste to me!
Give ear to my voice, when I call to thee!

Let my prayer be counted as incense before thee,
and the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice!

... amen

Praying buddy!